Theology of Suffering

Today I am lower than a snake's belly in death's valley. I crawled back into bed right after breakfast and I am still here at almost noon. I try to make sense of what is happening to me. I long to be free and unshackled of the weights which slow me down to a near standstill. There is not much I can do to speed up the recovery other than waiting. And in the waiting, things continue to deteriorate around me.

I somehow 'stumbled' onto a site where Joni Eareckson Tada addresses the Dallas Theological Seminary as they embark on a study of the theology of suffering. It can be found at this link:

http://www.dts.edu/media/play/?MediaItemID=099ea001-bcbf-48e3-8546-9d84ffcbb402

She said that God permits what He hates in order to accomplish what He loves.......which is increasing our capacity for Him. She also said God is in the midst of aborting devilish schemes.

I believe those statements with all my heart. Now if my mind and body would just follow along! Hearing her speak and knowing what she faces each day made me realize how blessed I am. What's a little depression and fibromyalgia and sleeplessness and flood mess compared to her quadriplegia and breathlessness and chronic pain. I have nothing to whine about. I will eventually recover. She will not...in this life.
I also have a very loving and supportive husband who is waiting on me hand and foot and four wonderful children who are equally supportive and understanding.......and friends who stick by me through the ups and downs. I just need to be patient and take small steps a day at a time and not lay down and give up, which the enemy of my soul would dearly love me to do.