Epiphany

Today was another very bad day. I went to the doctor in the morning. I could hardly verbalize during the appointment and kept tearing up. He increased my medication and added a couple of supplements and sent me for blood work. I sat in the waiting room of the lab for an hour......with my eyes closed because there were so many people in there. When I got home I looked around the basement which looks like a war zone and wondered how I would ever get the energy to go through all the stuff and dispose of it. I was exhausted so I laid down on the living room sofa for a nap. Sleep did not come ......but rather lots of ruminating on dark, discouraging thoughts. When I opened my eyes I was drawn to a picture of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane which hangs on our dining room wall. It has become a part of the landscape of the room and I hardly notice it anymore. Today it was a message from God loud and clear......... He wanted me to know He is agonizing with me in the garden on the eve of his crucifixion. I quickly found my Bible and read the account in Mark . These words expressed exactly how I was feeling today.

'My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.' (Mark 14:34)

I found solace in these words because Jesus knows exactly how I am feeling and can sympathize with me. He understands my weakness and is entering into my suffering......and I into His as I think about what took place tonight over two thousand years ago.

Today is also a day of celebration.....our granddaughter Lia turned 3 today. It was wonderful to come home to a message from her on the phone thanking us for her gift which arrived in the mail today. I think of her fondly and thank God for the joy she has brought into our lives.